I Feel Like a As Seen on TV Commercial with all this Crap

So much has happened since I last had a second to write. The reason I do not have a second to write is because I go to bed at 8:30 like a complete and total loser. I am that tired. The running has definitely put a crimp in my life... David knows if he wants to "see" me he needs to schedule an appointment between 8-8:30. It works out pretty well and gets me off the hook. The ladies out there know what I mean.

Since last time, I have really upped my miles-am up to ten now. And this had come with some firsts. Since as I pointed out in previous posts, details are not my thing-I arrived at 6:15 for a 6:00 AM run leaving me running alone in the dark. The upside? I had to pee so bad and always wanted to stop along a main road at the crack of dawn and pee in a bush. Very liberating.

I was so sore from that run I could not put my feet on the floor flat for three days.

So-this is what I have discovered. There is legal crack for runners. When you are getting up there in miles they sell lots of good stuff, all under the guise of giving you more energy. Some crap about fueling your muscles, blah, blah, blah. I just want to know if it will give me wings. So, $50 later, I have a treasure trove of carb-y type things, electrolyte thingy-s, and all kinds of gummies-all telling me they will provide me with 1-2 hours of energy. Where has this shit been hiding my whole life?

I have tried the Shock blocks, the Chomps, the goos (yeah-that is a big sticky ball of something I don't want to think too much about-ladies-does the phrase "just close your eyes and swallow it" ring a bell? That is a goo.) I have also added a powdered electrolyte drink into the mix. You would think with all of this I am Michael Phelps. This is what I know though...unless you are shooting up pure rocket fuel, running for two hours straight is effing hard. Nothing is really going to help with that. Still, I am now the chick with a trench coat full of the stuff-come to me and I will give you any flavor, consistency, and false claim you can ever want.

On a positive note, I ran a really fun race-eight miles Tower of Terror in Disney. I am not afraid to pat myself on the back-I kicked ass. What I did learn was that runners are fucking pushy. Like-not a little, but a lot. They will hit you and push you down. Dude-this is not the Olympics and you are not making medal time-chill. So, I think for the marathon, I will run with my elbows out. That will show them.

It is 8:28 and I have to be up in like five minutes to run tmw.

Thanks for all your support-some of you are deadbeats but most of you rock.

Show a girl some love at:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sfl/wdw10/ksingerxn7

We all know someone with cancer or someone who has passed...sucks but true. Do something good with your day today and give me your Starbucks money for the week.

Seven Mile Itch

So basically running is not like sex or riding a bike or whatever analogy that is...David was gone all week and I was not able to run at all. Just a few miles on the treadmill...which if you read my post a week or so ago-you know how I feel about the treadmill. Oh...and I attempted to go after dropping the kids off at school-so say 9:30 ish. I was like a vampire going to meet the sun. Literally burning alive. I am guessing people in SoFla only run between the hours of 11pm -7am. Kind of like highway construction hours. It was just too damn hot so I had to do the unthinkable...walk. Long story short, I can not just not run and then pick up and run great. Maybe real athlestes can but fat Jewish girls who live in the suburbs can't.

I am not gonna harp on that though. So, luckily, or unluckily, I had Saturday off b/c of Rosh Hashana. However, as we celebrated Saturday night...I couldn't help but think the two pound matzoh ball coupled with the gut-sticking brisket was not going to make for a stellar combo Sunday morning for the six mile run. It started off okay but by about mile three, I seemed to have been given a "babysitter." Yeah-the coaches are super nice and basically they are super humans who can basically run probably 100 miles a day, stop and get gas, and go another 100. They are crazy...and they don't even sweat. I am just dragging, wheezing, laden down with matzoh balls when my nice kind coach comes and helps me out. Keeps me company and keeps me from thinking about all I am thinking about which is basically this: "I wanna die, I am so f-ing hot and tired, is it too much to ask one of the other runners to carry me on their back for the remainder..." You get the idea. But, it really did help and I am happy to say I did complete all six miles running...well, when I say running imagine running with a walker but add tennis balls on a newly waxed floor walker-that pace of running. This Saturday is seven miles...am getting up at 5am tmw to run so I am ready for Saturday. It is 8:00 now so a bit past my bedtime:)

On another note, I have also decided, much to my chagrin, that I am actually immune to diet and exercise. Completely immune. I run, I elliptical, I do weights...all for naught. I watch what I eat-for fucks sake I am eating spinach and wheat germ...and what do I have to show for it??? Nothing. So-if anyone out there reading this knows anything about the condition about being immune to healthy habits, let me know, And if anyone dares say that I need to step up my workouts, I will step it up with a foot in your ass. Basically, in one week I am running like the distance from here to Delray and back PLUS weights PLUS that stupid ass elliptical machine for ONE hour at level 11. I am not giving up though...in the spirit of every female celebrity caught in an unflattering pose, I will say that I love my womanly body no matter what and do not need to conform to any unnatural standards. And then like Jennifer Love Hewitt and K-Hole Kardashian, I will proceed to lose 25 pounds to demonstrate this love for my body. This will fool my body into doing what I will it. A big game of na-na-na-naaa-naa.

Wish me luck for seven miles on Saturday-I am nauseous thinking about it. Hmmm...maybe that is a good appetite suppressant.

Help a girl out and donate at:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sfl/wdw10/ksingerxn7

You know you want to....:)

Nothing Magical About That

I have no idea what week I am on...I just know I am really tired.

This past week was kind of nice though-not for my running partner who was injured, but for me who got a bit of a break. If I feel there is any weakness I can seize upon, I will, So, when she told me her ankles were bothering her-and not from a crazy hanging from the chandeliers kind of way-I knew I could get a shorter run in. When we arrived at said corner, I felt no guilt in throwing out the "maybe we should walk a little" idea. After all, she has weak ankles. That was a nice little reprieve.

Later that week, I was also forced to do something I despise. As if I did not think running was enough of a pain in the ass, foot, and knee as it is, I had to run on the treadmill-because of the injured partner. Running on a treadmill to me is like being in a padded cell without being crazy. It will drive you to it. Basically, you run your heart out...and for what? At the end of 45 minutes, I have gone nowhere, seen nothing, swallowed no bugs, or made a fake smile at any passerbys. Ugh...it is SO boring. Even so, I really enjoyed the fans they have on those thigamajiggys. It is kind of saying to you-"yes, running inside totally blows but here is some recirculated air to trick you into thinking there is a cool breeze." Nice.

Saturday was our "magic mile" day. I was informed by a friend there would be no real running this day. I say informed b/c I rely on others for details. Otherwise I would have to sift through all the training emails myself...dumping my responsibilites on others is something I am pretty good at so I try to be consistent. Anywho, she informed me we would simply be running ONE mile as a determination of speed and finish time for the race. So, I had a grand ole Friday night. After all I could run one mile with my ankles duct taped together at this point. There was drinks, desert, more drinks, lots of appetizers...yummmm.

Magic Mile morning comes...I am fucked. No holds barred-just plain fucked. Evidently, you run this Magic Mile after you completed three other miles and top it off with another mile-just for good measure. I draaaaaaaaaaged my ass. I mean, literally. My ass felt so heavy from merriment I really considered........joining the walking group. But, you can't really come back from that so I decided to man up. The walking group to me is like this-there are Doctors (the runners), and Dentists (run/walkers) and then Chiropracters (walkers). Sorry-just my own little hierarchy. Took it real slow the two miles...I shoggled (shuffle/jog-I think it should be a word) the whole way. But, when the Magic Mile time came, I did kick it into gear. In fact, I beat my normal lap time by almost 1.30 which was decent. There was a side effect though...it took me a solid half hour to be able to inhale, see without spots, and rid myself of my Quasimodo hump. So-no way am I running anywhere that fast again. Just wanted to show them I could do it. No reason except now it is documented and will be used to place me in the actual run in the correct group. I think I may be the first person in marathon history to be trampled alive.

The Things People Did NOT Tell Me

This week I decided to be a superstar. School has started back and so has multi-tasking. I had a great run on Tuesday-over FIVE miles...and although I thought they may need to amputate my legs from the knee up, I was pretty proud of myself. So proud that I decided to walk my daughter to school and then walk across the street to the gym. I then proceeded to do maybe a hundred lunges-with weights of course-and then squats. My once sprightly gait has been replaced with my "old lady and the walker shuffle." Holy mother-f-ing shit I am sore.

But this is not the worst part...since I have been upping my miles-and thanks to a serious KICK ASS running play list on my iPod, I have really picked up my pace too. My running partner definitely has taken note when I've got a great beat going. If you know me, and if you are reading this blog I hope you do, then you know I am not shy so I am just gonna spit out. Running makes you sick to your stomach. Not like "ugh, I don't feel like going today" sick to your stomach, I am talking "there better a bush nearby or I need to wear a diaper" sick to your stomach. You know how no one told you what exactly was going to be coming out of your body for the next few weeks after you had a baby? This is the same deception...I had no idea but have come to find out this is pretty common. I asked around...and evidently crap and running go hand in hand. So, that kinda sucks ass if you know what I mean!!:)

The second thing I have learned, is the days I run I am so hungry I could eat my young and probably yours. Again-I was looking at this as a weight loss program...but I guess between what I am taking in and what is coming out-literally-maybe I am Even Steven.

All in all it has been a good week and I am freaked out about the really long run tmw morning. This is the start of the serious ones and I am tired already thinking of it. Thank goodness where we run is lined with hotels and apartments-do you think they will let me in to use the bathroom?

If you want to support me, I would LOVE it. Go to:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sfl/wdw10/ksingerxn7

Week One-Ready, Set, Holy Shit I Can't Breathe or Feel My Legs

Ok...so when you know you have to wake up at 5am, you tend to think every time you get up to pee in the middle of the night that it is 5am so you are kind of laying in wake of the anticipation.  Yes I have kids, but let's just say my kids sleep later than even I do.  Right now it is Sunday morning at 9:30...they are still sleeping.  Don't hate on me-I worked hard to get great sleepers.  So this is why the waking up early thing is a big deal to me. 

But, when I hear the  beep I  bound out of bed and am ready to go.  I have decided to run with a friend for fear of abduction, rape, murder-the normal variety of things that can happen to you when not a single witness is out on a very dark street in practically the middle of the night. The great thing about her is that she does not want to talk.  When I am running, I don't want to talk.  It is the only time in my life this is true.  I just really want to stay alive and breathe and that is what I have to focus on.  So, we agree to don our headphones and not even pretend to be interested in anything we have to say to one another.  A perfect partnership.  

The first day we set out it is uneventful-we feel pretty good after about three miles and although I am dying for new sneakers as I feel like an old woman-oy vey my ankles, my knees...we decide to meet again two days later. 

So-for those of you who know me-you know that I operate in only two modes-black or white.  I have no gray.  I don't like anything rather I love it or hate it.  Things are either right or wrong-you get the idea.  Did I also mention that I tend to throw myself into something rather quickly without really thinking about the consequences?  Yeah-I do that too.  I am the best starter on any project.  I am your go to girl for "OMG Let's totally do this" and then I pretty much peter out and quit.  Like I said, besides my kids, husband, and my job, I commit to nothing.  But I recognize it, so it is all good.  It is only a problem when you don't realize it, right?

So, if I am going to run 13 miles, well, damn-I expect to do it that day.  So we set out and we are feeling great, so great in fact that we decide to keep going.  Uh...not the best idea.  Especially when one of us has three kids at home and has to be at a very important job at a very specific time.  I learned that walking a mile home on a mosquito infested morning is the price I pay for being too ambitious.  That and the feeling that I was going to literally stroke out, along with the fact that I am so sore I cannot sit on the toilet.  We decide to be more realistic, get new shoes, actually eat or drink something before we run and have a plan. 

The required run by the beach on Saturday was beautiful.  I am by no means a joiner-I hate groups and I will pretty much run away from anything "organized."  However, my team mates in TNT are pretty cool I have to say and it is sad hearing many of their stories of people in their lives.  Some people have some serious shit to bear.  I mean, how do you get Hodgkins and Cervical Cancer diagnoses in the same month?  It really motivates me and although in any other part of my life I would never single these people out, we are all there at 6:45 on a Saturday to do something.  Before you think me of having turned over a leaf of overall friendliness, let me say my first order of business was signing the Headphone Waiver.  Yeah, I don't want to talk to them either while I run.  A high five in passing in all they are getting for now.  

Feel motivated to help me get to week two???  

go to: http://pages.teamintraining.org/sfl/wdw10/ksingerxn7

Holy Crap

So, what the hell did I get myself into? For the past seven years, my mind has been a steel trap of homework, playdate schedules, a running inventory of every teeny piece of crap (i mean treasure) while being suffocated in the reams of paper filled with flower gardens, rainbows, and happy shit that I have to throw away in the shroud of darkness so as not to be discovered as the horrible Mom that I am that I DO NOT WANT all this well...garbage.

So-what to do? Hmmm....I was on the fence. I am a HUGE procrastinator with a complete lack of follow through. Excellent combo, huh? Even so I have been positively going stir crazy the past few years. When you have babies/toddlers, it is so easy to put yourself on the back burner. After all, the kids need you. Who else is going to wipe their snot, clean their asses, prepare healthy foods, and nurture the entire mind, body, and spirit of your child if not for you? Well, all that was good for a while. Needless to say I have had this insatiable desire to actually do something for myself. Crazy I know...but I can't help but feeling that life is fleeting and you gotta try to live it a bit.

So where does running a 1/2 marathon come into this? Well, I have had the goal of completing a marathon for many years and have successfully managed to come up with awesome excuses not to do it and not make myself feel badly about it either. But, like a bad case of herpes, it keeps coming back. It was either that or get my Ph.D and a very simple cost analysis told even my borderline retarded math self "go for the marathon."

Well, if I was going to wake up REALLY early in the morning to actually run, I figured I may as well help someone besides myself along the way. I am a huge believer in karma and paying it forward. So...what has affected me the most personally? Probably what has affected most people-cancer. The Big C. My bff, my amazing father-in-law, my family-usual list of suspects as cancer seems to know no age, race, or reason. So I decided to run for Team in Training. They help me help others. It's a win-win. When I think about all the people I know have been through with cancer, getting my fat ass out of bed at 5am (after a few too many cocktails the night before) hardly seems like a big deal. If you know anyone suffering through cancer-no matter what kind-or have lost someone to it...I hope you will consider helping me to change the life of someone living with the battle right now.

So-keep checking back and see how I am doing. Average housewife just trying to make a difference...feel free to share comments, suggestions-you can keep your criticisms to yourself-and inspirations.

Not charging you to read my blog....but feel free to donate to the cause at:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sfl/wdw10/ksingerxn7

Kim